Owning It, On A Wednesday
I could say that today, Wednesday (my worst day of the week), was a much needed day off, but it sounds a little ridiculous considering that I have only worked one day this week. I will say that today was a different type of day off. Like all Wednesday's, I woke with a smile on my face anticipating a great day. I usually need to give myself a pep talk:
“Today WILL be a great day.
I CAN do this.
Head up wings out.”
Today was no different, but today something WAS different. I taught three yoga classes in the morning: my regular scheduled PreHab for Athletes, a subbed class and a session for some summer campers (one of whom is my lovely birdie, Ava). To my disappointment, coach pushed off my track workout to tomorrow. I guess it's my own fault. Coach says (in my head), if you took Monday as a rest day, ahem, like I said, instead of hiking 5 miles, you'd be doing speed work today. Coach says, (in my head) you can't do a quality track workout today cause you suck; but tomorrow, I will kick your ass. Fine.
Although I was miles from home, I had my spike bag packed with gear ready for any workout. I parked at the covered bridge (damn, I hate this place) and quickly changed in my already sweltering car. While waiting for my watch to grab a signal, I tucked my key FOB into my back pocket and laced up my new kicks (thank you, Skechers Performance for my 50% off coupon). I was already warm from the three yoga classes I taught that I just pressed 'play' and took off.
Despite the high temps and humidity, a lot of people were out on the trail. I continued to shave time off my pace with each mile — an extended warm-up as the appetizer for a small plate of fartleks. I'm not sure at what point in my run I was reminded, but it happened. I spotted a faded blue arrow at my feet. My route followed the direction of the arrow so I carried on. The arrow looked something like this:
This picture was taken in June of 2015 during my Via Marathon training, the first attempt at a BQ. Blue arrows mark the flow of the course.
Over time, the vibrance of the arrow faded. The symbolism of that takes my breath away.
On the other hand, in no time, I ditched those bullshit Newton shoes, vowing to never endorse the brand again.
How could I have forgotten? Silly me. I was following a leg of the marathon route; the marathon I lost. And yup, I'm doing it again. The realization of that blue arrow peeking into my life again made me sick to my stomach. I ran a bad race, one that I feel will haunt me forever. I acknowledged the negative thoughts, but didn't let it affect my pace. I accepted the possibility of not having a good shot at owning the course. Strangely, I was okay with all of that. I want to run that race just to have a good race, independent of time. Is that too much to ask? I always hated that trail, even before the marathon. It's a hot spot among local runners; my love of running was practically born there for crying out loud. Maybe its time I take it back; quit my bitching and just own the Goddamned parkway.
I ran 4 1/2 heat soaked miles in my least favorite place. Maybe this time, after all this time, I actually enjoyed the location. Maybe.
