I See You

You don't know me, but I know you. Maybe you think you know me. I don’t think so.

Sure, I might have never shaken your hand...or stepped foot inside your home.  I don't know if you have children, nor have I seen you at a race.

But I know you. Because we met years ago.  

You're like the others who found vulnerability in your own life, vulnerabilities and disappointment you decided to project onto me. You didn’t want to help; you took the road most traveled.

Your words hurt and pushed me back into that black hole.  I wanted to quit everything.  AGAIN.  I saw it going down...I predicted my future.  How I would disconnect from those I trust, how I would cease interaction with the community, how my training would stop, how I could slowly see my weight creep as my fitness decreased, how I opted out of my race schedule so I wouldn’t have to see your face.

But then I stopped myself.  You will not steal my joy, as you had done before.  This time I refuse to let you push me back into the abyss.  I will hold on to the edge for my dear life, with everything that I've got because I will not quit.  NOT.EVER.

Let me tell you who I am:

I am Icarus, but I am the Phoenix.

I am something from nothing.

I flew too high, everything melted around me, I crashed and burned. I said goodbye to yesterday and am now what I never was.

I'm going make a promise to you:

I promise to continue the climb.  I promise to push through to be my best; to better my best.  

I will work tirelessly to reach the summit, only to take a cleansing breath, while I look over my shoulder to ask:

"How ya like me now?"