Magic Miles
The vision that’s stuck in my head is one of my boyfriend making his way up a mountain of red and gold foliage, highlighted by the late afternoon sun. The crunching of the leaves and the swishing of our feet snuggle into my ears - the soundtrack for the day. I smell the crispness in the air. I feel the cool nip my exposed skin as I enter areas of shade or a breeze broke through the path.
I took each moment as they came, finding the beauty in the landscape and the joy in the struggle. Somewhere between those intersecting points, I rode the wave of flow - bobbing in and out.
The day unfolded as I had hoped, but also as I had anticipated. We ran out of daylight, the car was seemingly trapped behind a locked gate, and I was definitely out of hydration.
I wouldn’t have changed a damn thing. This vision would carry me through to our race and up those hills, through the landscape, and across the anticipated finish.
Today, I sit at my dining room table watching the rays of sun scream through my front windows. (makes mental note - that will be forgotten soon enough - I need to wash the windows). The underlying themes of my vision certainly apply, the imagery script that I built no longer applies.
We are not going to soak in the wonders of the Appalachian Trail. The sea of leaves will not cushion my feet and I won’t have the ups and downs of the course mirroring the ups and downs of my mind.
Sucks right? Eh. Maybe.
“Western culture has things a little backwards right now. We think that if we had every comfort available to us, we’d be happy. We equate comfort with happiness. And now we’re so comfortable we’re miserable. There’s no struggle in our lives. No sense of adventure. We get in a car, we get in an elevator, it all comes easy. What I’ve found is that I’m never more alive than when I’m pushing and I’m in pain, and I’m struggling for high achievement, and in that struggle I think there’s a magic.”
I have adapted to thrive during change. I do my best to embrace uncomfortable. I believe that the way we speak to ourselves is the foundation in order for us to weather any storm.
“To travel or not to travel” was the question weighing heavily on my mind and almost too heavy on my heart. I accepted this situation as another test of my mental endurance and grit. I’m just exhausted. I’m exhausted like that day in October, but I met that day with a smile, even if it was forced at times. I welcomed the climbs, I eased into the descents, I honored the sun, and I save the darkness permission to land.
While the imagery script has changed, my focus has not. Tomorrow will be met with that same smile that will help carry my body over 50 miles of road. I will summon the sun and fist bump the occasional breeze, as my feet draw on the road. There will be pain and this will be a struggle, but it will be 100% magic.
Magic is the space I call home.
