Meditations on the In Between

I’ve had more than enough time since my 2022 “A race” and the end of school to settle in, bask in my accomplishments, and just chill a bit. I reminded myself that staying right here is better than fine; it’s needed. Instead of looking towards the next thing, I opted to adopt a non-striving way of being. I reflected a lot, and journaled some words. While I am soaking in this shallow puddle of comfort, I know this won’t last forever, nor will my memory. I captured a few things that are worth remembering as I soon transition into another cycle of training.

Never forget the little things: the good stuff that seemed so insignificant at the time like ice in your glass after a hot run or a warm towel after a long swim.

You will never forget the PB&J sandwich that is forever etched into your right thigh – a daily reminder to fuel and a reinforcement of your planning skills.

Never forget how good you felt after almost skipping a workout.

Never forget the early mornings, coming out of the dark, to do the hard work that keeps you whole, no matter how broken you feel at times. 

Never forget the importance of your small, supportive circle – those who lift you, love you, ensure your basic needs are met (especially when you forget or don’t want to meet them).  They are you and you are them, moving forward.  With purpose.  Best effort.  Every.  Time.

Never forget the balance of being humble while maintaining confidence. 

Never forget that a PR is more than a time; it’s all about the process.

Missed goals are the doors and windows to other worlds. It’s okay to be sad for the moment, but don’t let it rule the world you are passing through.

Never forget your values. This is what fuels your fire.

Never forget the look in your daughter’s eyes when she insists: “Mom, I want to see you race”, even when it seems like she doesn’t care about you. This is why you are here.

Shit ebbs and flows.  Don’t forget.  Nothing is forever.