Forget, Me Not

I’ve had this pick at the back of my brain about posting again. I clearly skipped the entire month of December. That’s not to say that nothing noteworthy happened or there weren’t a million little things that I wanted to share with you. Not.At.All. I HAD the time; I just didn’t MAKE the time. It’s not that you’re not important - all five of you, but it’s not where I wanted to direct my energy.

As the end of year slowly approached it’s turn over, I wanted to write something about time changing, looking forward, all that crap. I actually dislike the ‘fresh’ (also really stale) energy that comes with a new year. New Year…New YOU. Newsflash, you’re still the same person just on a different day. Change doesn’t happen overnight and it sure as shit doesn’t happen in the first month of a new calendar year.

Last night, as I laid in bed, I cried because I actually forgot that on that day, on January 7, my grandmother had passed away in the early morning. On January 7, 2019, my little spicy Sicilian punched her ticket outta here. I suppose that sounds a little harsh; but when you leave a mark, ‘punching’ anything is appropriate.

I was so sad that I missed the opportunity to honor (also mope around) her during the day. I was sad that I didn’t feel a sense of ‘something magical of her being with me’ because I didn’t remember. Just when I was ready to cry myself to sleep I was reminded that I do remember.

I remember her every damn day. My run streak is for her. I remember her every damn day.

Even when I forget (like she forgot me), I remember her every damn day. That’s my honor. I just needed to be reminded.